Last night a lively discussion ensued at Sunday dinner about women and the priesthood. It was memorable because my brother in law and I were actually having a conversation! Ha! 🙂 I respected and valued his insights as I listened to him. This has caused me to study and ponder more in depth the role of women and the priesthood.
Hope has made up a song that starts like this, “Don’t compare yourself to others.” She sings it whenever Kate and Dallin need a friendly reminder. 🙂 Kate especially has begun to start any request with “because Dallin got to do such and such can I?” or because “Wilson got to eat a treat can I?” Satan will use the tactic of comparison as one of his greatest weapons. He uses it on women against women, and on women against men. So if we are ever headed down that road in our minds, we must stop immediately and make a quick U-turn. The road of comparison is filled with sorrow and a dead end. At the core of this issue is what I think is a lack of understanding and appreciation for our differing yet complimentary roles. In the process of getting our home ready to sell I decided on the perfect way to make the boys’ room look better. I needed to hang a mirror on the wall across from the tiny window in their room to let in more light. What do I need to hang a mirror? Yes! You guessed it. A hammer and a nail!… (Wait, is this starting to sound like Dora??:)) Wow, what a difference that mirror makes on a once blank, uninviting wall. It is beautiful, but it could not have happened without those two things. Lets say a woman is the hammer. You can beat the wall all you want with it but you’ll never do any good, only damage the wall and not bring you any closer to your purpose of hanging the mirror. A man is the nail. Sure, you could try to drive that sucker in with your bare hands but that will only end in a bruised and bloody mess. You need both. You just can’t accomplish the task of hanging the mirror on the wall without both of them. We can debate all day about which is more desirable or useful, but the point is it doesn’t matter! We can’t produce the desired result with only a hammer, or only a nail. God, in his infinite wisdom and love, took a nail in one hand, so to speak, and a hammer in the other to create something where we can see our true identity and purpose.
Since I am and always have been a female, I will speak on the role of a woman and what it means to me. Oh man, I love being a woman! It’s true! My deep love for womanhood alone qualifies me to speak on the subject. Think for a moment, of the gifts you’ve been endowed with because you’re a woman. I have no idea, nor will I ever know what it is like to be a man. And that’s okay! But, I do know what its like to be a woman. One of my most favorite scripture stories is that of Mary when she sees the resurrected Christ. She goes to his tomb bright and early in the morning. She finds it empty. She runs to get Peter and John. They come to the tomb running and see for themselves, then they leave. But she stays. She sees two angels who were probably there all along, and now she has the spiritual eyes to see them. And to her, a woman, Jesus the Christ first appeared as the resurrected Lord. I think to better understand the roles of women and the priesthood we need to ponder and really study the scriptures. It is then that our eyes will be opened to see things that are clearly right in front of us. I have seen such things pertaining to my identity and purpose and they are sacred to me. Since we are talking of priesthood power, think of the woman who touched the hem o f Jesus’s robe. She was in the right place at the right time like Mary, to see a miracle. She had suffered for so long. Think of it! With her faith by touching his garment alone she was healed. He did not put his hands on her head and give her a blessing. She literally drew power from the Savior. When our son Wilson was just 6 weeks old, doctors at a nearby hospital found that one of the valves that pumped blood through his tiny body was deformed. It would not work properly and so it was determined, after many tests that he would have serious heart condition. And that would mean his life probably wouldn’t last more than 5, maybe 6 years . I left the hospital that day with my new baby boy, my 18 month old daughter, and my own broken heart. I headed home to our apartment in Long Beach. On the way, I pulled over to a park . I took my two children with me and knelt under a tree. I held that baby boy in my arms and sobbed for awhile, then prayed these words, “Dear God, I love thee. I will always love thee no matter what. I will not be angry with you if you take him. Thank you for giving me Wilson. Thank you for whatever time I may have with him. If it is thy will I will promise to raise him unto thee and in such a way that he will be one of the greatest missionaries ever if you will heal his heart. Please, Father, if it is your will, heal my son.” A week later Jeremy gave Wilson a priesthood blessing. In that blessing the very first thing he said was that Wilson would grow up healthy and strong and serve a mission. I lost it. Right there in the pew, my body shook and I felt the weight of worry dissipate. I knew he was healed. The next time we went to see the heart specialist he looked in disbelief at both at Jeremy and I and said these treasured words, “Whatever was wrong before is gone now. This boy has a perfect heart!”
In this instance, if Jeremy had just used his priesthood to bless Wilson would the miracle have taken place? maybe. Maybe not. But I believe a mothers prayer of faith acted as the catalyst for that miracle that the power of the priesthood brought to pass.. It took both of us. I do not understand why some are healed according to ones faith by the power of the priesthood and why some are not. I do not understand how or why before this world was, God created man and woman to be unique and to have different responsibilities. But I do know this: God our Heavenly father loves his children! All of them! He is no respector of persons, he loves his sons and daughters equally, perfectly. He, the great God of this universe and countless others, decides who lives and who dies. He decided long ago that I would forever be a woman and that I would have certain responsibilities associated with that. He is God, and compared to Him I am nothing. He created all things from the beginning and in his unfathomable mercy he allowed me to provide physical bodies for four of his precious children. I marvel at the honor and responsibility of motherhood daily.
During my planned c-section for Dallin, I felt the doctors pulling my body as if they would tear me in two. I could smell the burning flesh of my abdomen. The bright lights above blinded me and the cold I felt caused me to shake. I was so scared. I was trying to be brave. I called out to Jeremy and he was there right beside me. After putting his face close to mine he whispered, “You’re okay.” I was okay because he was beside me. I don’t think I could’ve gone through it without him. He held my hand and I kept my gaze fixed on his. He gave me the comfort and added strength no one else could. That is the whole plan isn’t it? We came from loving Heavenly parents to find our own way through this dark and sometimes dreary world, back to our heavenly home. But we aren’t supposed to do it alone. After God created Adam and placed him in the garden of Eden He said “It is not good that man should be alone wherefore I will make a help meet for him”, so Eve became God’s final creation, the grand finale to all he had done before. The words “help meet” means one that is vital to or necessary, and “meet” means equal to. I feel Jeremy and I are equal to one another, and we have become one in creating a family that we hope will last forever. I would never ever want to roam the halls of eternity without my companion, my best friend! That sounds pretty lonely to me.
I love my 2 sons as much as I love my 2 daughters. I would give my life for each one. My sons and daughters are, by divine design, different, and that is wonderful to me! I would never want Hope to feel less than she is because she doesn’t hold the priesthood authority, as much as I would not want Wilson to feel he is less than he is because he will never be able to bear or nurture a child like she can. I do not love Dallin more than Kate simply because he can serve as a bishop and she a relief society president. The power of the priesthood lies in all of my children! The right and magnitude of that power lies in their own level of faith in Jesus Christ whose power it ultimately is.
My name is Marni, I am a woman, and I love and honor the priesthood.
