My heart fills with love to overflowing out of my eyes in tears. I cannot explain it in words. I hate to use the word “earned”, but when I think of this relationship it feels earned. It was earned through experience. No one can take it from me and I cannot give it away. The experiences were not easy nor comfortable. One of them I have recently reflected on, I thought about how most people  say they would go through a certain difficult trial again for what they learned. In regard to this one, I cannot. But I know I could not have endured  any of them alone. Today I can say to Him,” here’s my heart, take it”  because it is already His. It is no longer mine. It would’ve been broken into pieces long ago without Him. I would be broken, lost, nothing. But with Him I am whole, Happy and determined to do what I came here to do. I think of that precious baby boy who remained pure, holy, sinless to save me and I smile through tears. For this feeling I would need to see clearly, and know with surety, that I needed saving. This vision has become clearer as the experiences have become harder. I cannot tell you what pains I’ve had to bear, I cannot fathom what pain He bore, but through mine I have come to understand in small measure what He felt. I’ve seen in my own Gethsemane him, suffering, bleeding at every pore, and I want to run to Him. I would fall at his feet throw my arm’s around Him and hold Him up. I would watch with Him every hour. He would hear my prayers of gratitude for what He was doing. Jesus the Christ is the hinge on which our existence hangs on. He lived in the little town of Bethlehem, He lives today as God over all the earth. He is everything to me, without Him I am nothing. I will continue to turn to Him in every storm  and every sunrise because there is no where else to turn. I believe in Christ, I believe I know Him personally. I believe He knows me and is near me . The tiny babe born in a stable has carried me through my darkest nights. He will come again in majesty and glory and I will recognize His loving face that I have come to know so well. He is the Joy I feel , the Joy the world can feel at Christmas time and always.